Camus's The Guest

Reading Camus’s the Guest was an intriguing experience.  I went through the text thinking that I knew the way it would turn out.  You know how you will often watch a cheesy romantic comedy and you know the couple will get back together?  I was very surprised to read that the Arab walked himself toward the jail.  I did not see that coming.

This is why I find The Arab the most intriguing character in the story.  He was confused about his future and seemed genuinely worried about how things were going to end up for him during his time in Daru’s home.  He also seemed to be surprised yet appreciative of the kindness that Daru showed him.  There seemed to be some trust formed between the two men.

As they were walking I felt sure that Daru was going to let him go.  I felt some conflicting feelings about it as it would put Daru in danger.  He felt it was the right thing to do and took the risk.  After he left the Arab, walked back up to the top of the hill he turned to see the Arab walking toward the prison.  Why would the Arab make the decision to walk himself into trouble?  Did he not believe Daru about the path to his freedom?  Was he concerned about the treatment we might receive from the nomads?  Was he more comfortable with the idea of his soon to be captors rather than the nomads?  As you can see the reading has left me with many questions about the Arab!

Loving Means Listening

I am in the Real Estate business and have been working in the field for over thirteen years now.  Over that time I have had to learn how to work and relate with many different people.  I am lucky to have found a carrear that I am good at but more importantly I really enjoy what I do.  That being said I had to learn some very hard lessons to get to this place.  Having to form objective relationships with clients of all different demographics can prove to be very challenging and there have been as many failures or mis-steps as there have been success stories.  As Erich Fromm explains, like any other skill set it takes practice to get good at being an objective “people person.”

I was very new in the business a tad over energized.  I had just been referred a new out of town client.  I was really excited because they were making a special trip to come out and buy a home.  As long as I could find them the right home I would make the sale. I was having a slow month and I really needed the sale.   I spent a great deal of time on the phone going over the financial process and getting their loan all set up.  We also spent some time going over their preferred features of the home they were specifically looking for.  I thought I was so thorough with them about their needs and requirements.  I was all set to knock it out of the park when they came into town.

I spent the next few days previewing different properties and making sure I knew the inventory in their price range and more specifically the homes I thought would meet their criteria.  I excluded all the homes with western back yards.  This story takes place in Sacramento and people don’t typically like western exposures due to the intense heat coming into the homes in the afternoon. I was ready to go and make the sale.  To this date I don’t think I have ever been so ready for a client meeting, at least that is what I thought!

The day finally arrived and I picked them up from the airport.  Their flight from Phoenix was a little late but I was prepared for that.  I got them loaded into my car and began the tour of the homes I had selected to show them.  By the time I got them into the fourth home I noticed that they seemed utterly disappointed with all the homes I had shown them. They explained to me that being from Arizona they were used to hot summer days and they had become accustomed to late afternoon barb-q in the back yard.  They wanted a western facing backyard!  I didn’t have a single home with a western back yard in my tour. I was dumbstruck and they were disappointed and did not buy a home that trip.

The lesson I learned from this lost sale that what I thought was the best feature or option for people is not always what they feel the best option for them is.  I made the expensive mistake of assuming that what I thought they would want would in fact be what they wanted.  Fromm talks about really learning about the person that you are interacting with.  Learn about their ideals, beliefs and core values and listening to them.  Be actively involved with the people you interact with.  Only when this happens can you be objective and productive.  In my situation I could have saved time and a made some good money if I had really talked with my clients, been actively involved with them and found out what they like to do with their time.  This would have given me an opportunity to have made their trip productive for both them and me.  This experience taught me humility and the need to concentrate on their needs.

I have used this lesson to help me with my future business and well as my personal relationships.  Everyone is coming from a different place and you need to take the time to learn about that place.  If I have someone in my life I want to know them, what makes them tick and what makes them happy.  To do that I have to be engaged and present in the moments I spend with them.  It is also kind of funny that by learning to be a better listener and to be present I have learned more about myself and the things that make me smile.

By no means am I done with this lesson!  Being present and engaged with people is an everyday practice but at least now I am aware of what I need to be doing.  I have to listen my way to loving people!